Love between partners is a powerful, meaningful part of the human experience. We all want and need to feel the joy of loving and being loved. Relationships aren’t meant to be passive, though. Healthy relationships require self-reflection, accountability and positive communication to thrive.
As a couples clinician, I offer couples therapy for partners of all backgrounds, cultures, and orientations. Whether you’re experiencing serious conflict with your partner or are looking for an opportunity to make your love even stronger, couples therapy can help.
Why participate in Couples Counseling?
Sometimes both partners are interested in couples counseling. Other times, one partner may need encouragement to take part in the process. Although there may be some resistance to therapy initially, our clinicians are trained in connecting with clients as a way to break through resistance and move into a safe, secure, comfortable therapeutic relationship that supports deep change.
Many people think of couples therapy as a treatment during a crisis, and most reach out during or after a major conflict. We work with couples who are facing crisis issues or couples in perpetual gridlock. Very often, the crisis is a symptom of a deeper issue, which our skilled therapists work to uncover and process.
Conflict happens to all couples, but what makes a relationship strong is each partners’ ability to manage the conflict in a healthy way. I utilize principles from both Drs. Gottman and The Couples Institute to provide support, education, and guidance to my couple clients. The key for couples is to avoid the four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Instead of viewing the situation as yourself versus your partner, you and your partner can learn to work together as you move through discord.
Couples therapy is a great opportunity to develop these communication skills because you have a neutral third-party who will facilitate the discussion and provide skills to help you communicate effectively. It’s natural to feel upset, angry, or hurt during a disagreement or conflict, but our therapists can help you and your partner communicate from a place of responsiveness and not heightened reactivity.
Relationship counseling is also helpful if you’re going through a major life transition like moving, having a baby, or experiencing a loss. Events like these change the dynamic of your relationship while you’re already emotionally taxed so it’s important to check in and make sure the bond between you and your partner is attended to and strengthened.
I provide premarital counseling as well so that you and your soon-to-be spouse have a healthy foundation of your marriage. Premarital counseling is an opportunity to spot problematic patterns or perpetual conflicts before they snowball. You and your partner can discuss meaningful topics such family, sex, finances, parenting and religious beliefs as a way to ensure important values are aligned.